I am an old karate man.
I have done karate for many years. My hands are rough. My knees talk to me when the weather changes. I have been in this game a long time.
And in all those years, I have learned one big thing.
The most expensive way to learn is to try and fail, try and fail, all by yourself.
That costs too much. It costs time. It costs pain. Sometimes it costs everything.
But I have good news for you.
The Big Idea
Here is the one thing I want you to believe:
The fastest way to get what you want is to find a mentor and follow what they teach.
A mentor can be a real person. A mentor can be a book. A mentor can be a video course. A mentor can be a YouTube channel.
If you believe this, you will save years of pain.
Let me tell you why.
Secret #1: The Forms Work
In karate, we practice a set of moves called kata. Kata means "forms."
These forms are very old. They are hundreds of years old. Maybe thousands.
Long ago, people used these moves in real fights. Real fights. Not games. Not points. Fights where losing meant you did not go home.
The people who used these moves lived. They survived. And the moves that did not work? Those got dropped. The moves that left you open? Gone. The moves that got someone hurt? Gone too.
What was left got passed down to us. Over and over. From teacher to student. From student to teacher. For many, many years.
So the forms are like a gift. They are a map. They tell us, "Do this. It works."
Some young people say, "I can figure it out on my own."
Yes, you can. But why? Why spend your time learning what someone else already learned? Why pay for a lesson someone else already paid for?
Think about it this way. Imagine you want to climb a big hill. One path is smooth. People walked it for a hundred years. They moved the rocks. They made it safe. The other path is full of thorns and holes. No one has walked it.
Which path do you take?
The smooth one, right? That is what the forms are. The smooth path. The path that many people walked before you. The path that works.
And here is something I think about a lot. As far as we know, humans are the only creatures on this planet who pass on lifelong learning through stories and written language.
Think about that. A bird builds a nest. It does not teach next year's birds a better nest. A bee makes honey. It does not write down how to make it sweeter. Every animal starts over. Every animal learns the same things its parents learned. Nothing gets better.
But humans? We tell stories. We write things down. A grandfather tells a story by the fire. A mother writes a letter to her child. A teacher writes a book. And the next person starts where they left off. That is how we got better over thousands of years. That is how we grow.
You have this gift. You were born with it. Do not throw it away by saying, "I will figure it out alone."
Success leaves clues. The forms are the clues. The stories are the clues. The books are the clues. They are all around you.
Secret #2: You Are Not Different
I understand young people. I was young once.
I remember the little voice in my head. It said, "I can do this my way. I am smart. I am strong. I do not need help."
That voice is pride. It is not really being independent. It is just being expensive.
I know that is hard to hear. But I say it with love. Because I paid that price myself. Many times. And I wish someone had told me sooner.
Every part of life has its forms. Work has forms. Marriage has forms. Health has forms. Money has forms. Being a good parent has forms. There are good ways to do things. Bad ways too. People before you found the good ways. They wrote them down. They taught them to others.
The person who says "I will do it all alone" is not brave. They are just paying more. They are learning with their own pain what someone else already learned with theirs.
You are smart. That is good. I like smart people. But being smart is not the same as having experience. Smart is knowing a lot. Experience is having lived a lot. They are not the same thing.
A mentor gives you experience you have not earned yet. They give you the map. You get to start where they finished. You do not have to start at the bottom.
And here is a secret about me.
I am still looking for mentors. I am an old karate man. I am the "old man" of my family now. My kids come to me for advice. My grandkids too. But I am not done learning.
One of my team members has a father who is 90 years old. Ninety. That is a long time. He has seen more than I have. He has lived through things I only read about. He has made mistakes I have not made yet. And maybe he has answers I do not have.
I would love to talk with him. I really would. Not because I have nothing to say. But because he has seen more than I have. Maybe he can help me see things that my "young" eyes are still not old enough to see.
Yes, I said "young."
I am old to my kids. I am old to my team. But next to a man who is 90, my eyes are young. My eyes are still growing up. My eyes still have things to learn. My eyes are young compared to his.
That is the point.
There is always someone who has seen more. There is always someone who has walked further. There is always someone who can show you something new. No matter how old you are.
And here is something else I ran across not long ago. I watched a few videos that explained how and why women are the keepers of knowledge.
At first, I had to stop and think. Then it made sense.
Think about it. In most cases, women live to be older than men. Not always. But often. And why? The videos said it is because they are the vessels. They carry the knowledge. They carry the care. They are the ones who hold the family stories, the family history, the family ways. They pass it on. That is why they live longer. They have a job to do. They have wisdom to hand down.
I thought about my own family. I thought about the women in it. The ones who remember every name. Every birthday. Every story. Every recipe. Every lesson. They keep it. Then they give it.
That is a mentor too. Maybe the oldest kind. The kind that lives in the home, not in a book.
So look around. The mentors are not always the loud ones. They are not always the famous ones. Sometimes they are the ones who have been quietly holding the knowledge for a hundred years, waiting for someone to ask.
If an old karate man still looks for mentors, maybe you can too.
Secret #3: The Mentor Is Already There
Maybe you are thinking, "But I do not have a mentor. I do not know any masters. No one has time for me."
That is not true.
Mentors are everywhere. They are all around you. You just have to look.
They are on your bookshelf. Books are mentors. A book is a person's best thinking, saved on paper, waiting for you to open it. The person may be gone. But their lessons are still here. You can still learn from them.
They are in video courses you can watch tonight. You can sit on your couch and learn from someone across the world. That is a gift.
They are on YouTube. Right now. For free. You can find a teacher tonight. You can start learning tonight. You do not need to wait.
They are in the women of your family. The ones who remember. The ones who keep. Ask them. Listen to them. They have been holding knowledge for you before you were born.
The old masters did not have this. They had to travel for days to find a teacher. They had to knock on doors. They had to beg to be taught.
You have it easy. You have the whole world in your pocket. Their lessons are written down. Their videos are made. Their words are saved. Their stories are told.
The only thing missing is you saying yes.
You do not wait for someone to pick you. You pick them. You choose. You decide.
Find the person who has what you want. Find the person who got the result you want. Learn from them. Do what they do. Watch how they think. Copy their steps. Practice their forms. Ask the old ones. Ask the women. Ask the ones who remember.
You do not have to be perfect. You just have to start.
One More Thing
Trial and error is not bad.
I am not saying you will never make a mistake. You will. I still do. Mistakes are part of life. Some lessons only come from trying and failing.
But do not make trial and error your whole plan. Do not start there. Start with the map. Start with the forms. Start with the mentor.
Then, when you try something new, you will have a base. You will have a strong place to stand. You will know what is already known. And you will be able to add to it.
That is how the forms got made. Someone learned what was passed down. Then they added one small thing. Then the next person added one small thing. And over many, many years, the forms got better and better.
That is how humans got better too. We told stories. We wrote things down. We kept the knowledge. We passed it on. We did not start over. We started where the last person stopped.
That is your job too. Learn the forms. Master them. Then add your own small thing. But only after you have learned what came before.
What to Do Now
So here is my job for you. From an old karate man:
Find a mentor. Follow what they teach.
It can be a real person. It can be a book. It can be a video course. It can be a YouTube channel. It can be a grandmother with a long memory. It does not matter which one. What matters is that you choose one and start.
Pick one today. Not next week. Not next month. Today.
Watch one video. Read one chapter. Send one message. Ask one old person one question. Take one small step.
And remember this. Even I am still looking. An old karate man still needs teachers. A 90-year-old man still needs teachers. There is always someone who has seen more. There is always someone who can help you see what you cannot see yet.
Stop paying the most expensive price. Stop learning everything the hard way.
The path is already there. The forms are waiting.
Follow them.